Take out the trash? He’s allergic to the trash bags.

Do the dishes? An all-night gaming binge tweaked his carpal tunnel.

Change the kid’s diaper? It hurts his back and shoulders changing a diaper.

Mow the lawn? It’s his only day off today.

Does He Fuck? His erectile disfunction is always an issue.

Does He Shower? He only showers once a week due to his skin issues.

Smoke Weed? Way too much!

Do this interview? He said now is not the right time.

Play Video Games? He plays them every night!

How many women have men like this in their lives? Too many to count!

Platty's Editor Note: You hear that Jay-Z has a protoge called Lay-Z?