“We’ll plan your future financial growth while fucking your wife!”

This is the new slogan from Infidelity investments.

Infidelity Investments offers Financial Planning and Advice, Retirement Plans, Wealth Management Services, Trading and Brokerage services, and a wide range wife fucking options.

They can take photos and video that can be used against your wife if you choose to divorce and can still keep all of your shit. I mean investments.

If you want to keep your investments on track then give Infidelity a chance and call 1-800-Wife-Fuck.

Platty's Editor Note: Jerry Lamon Falwell Jr. is a client!