Beginning on May 4th the president is planning on shipping his toilet paper, paper towel and tissue dispensers to help with the shortage of these products.

The dispensers are in his image and are loaded one at a time.

The customers are placed in a pit where the dispenser flicks the goods one at a time into the pit.

The customers then play the game, who can get it first and by any means necessary.

To make the game more fun, the dispenser can be equipped with a multi loader and shoot 2 items at once.

Granted the pit will be a social distancing challenge but sometimes you must break the rules to meet the demand.

Trump wants to be remembered as the man of the people, who helps people, with love and care.

Platty’s Editor Note: We adopted a dog who keeps eating our paper towels. It turns out he was trained by a bounty hunter!