Mary Ann Jensen has been a member of her local gym for 4 years and has never been there to use it.

Mary Ann said, “I’m on the $9.99 monthly plan and feel I owe my overall health with the thinking that I might actually go to the gym someday.”  

She continued with, “Other days, the motivation is that I will go to actually cancel my membership and save some money. The back and forth keeps me on my feet. That’s what I name my couch. Feet!”

She has her toilet paper, antacid’s, video games and general shit right there on her couch available at any time. Just like her gym membership.

She told me that she was undecided today. She wants to go to the gym and finally start her healthy life, but I get the feeling it is really to go there and cancel her membership.

I feel she is just too lazy to make up her mind.

Platty's Editor Note: I bet that couch has a bed shitter pan!